State-O-The-Union

[speaker] Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the president of the United States
[eight minutes of clapping]
[one lone clapper](what an idiot)
[president] Thank you, I'm so glad I could take up two hours of precious tv time on every channel
[clapping]
[president] The Union is strong
[clapping]
[extra clapping]
[president] The economy good
[Hillary Clinton throws bra on stage]
[president] Brokeback Mountain won an 'ass-full' of awards
[lauging, then clapping]
[comercial about femanine hygene]
[clapping]
[president] Thank You, don't forget to tip your waitress, Good Night!
[clapping]
[role credits]

Elevator

Eighty Cents a Day

Lets say, hypothetically speaking, your dad and mom sponsored a child in some far off country for $0.80 a day. And being given this advantage, they grow up, move to America, or wherever, and meet you. You hit it off and before you know it, become involved... is that prostitution? Or maybe, by sponsoring the child that kid becomes sort of a family member, and in that case you would be more like sleeping with your "sister"... so the question now becomes "Would you rather live in Las Vegas or Alabama?"
Feel free to comment.

Tombstone